So last night, I was watching the Lakeland Florida Healing Revival on GodTV (DirectTV, Channel 365 - Every night at 7pm) with my mom, Sharon, and brother, Tyler.
I had been sick all day (fever, chills, sweating, dizziness, diarrhea, etc. (probably more than you wanted to know...ha ha) Anyway.) but I still went to work, while Lauren was so sick that she was bed ridden, for the most part, all day long (She was vomiting and going to the bathroom all night the previous night).
But when I got home around 5:45, I made my way eventually to my bed, to lay beside my wife, at around 6:15 or 6:30. Unsurprisingly, I fell asleep...
Until I woke up around 8:30 or so (Lauren woke me up to ask me if I could get her some fresh ice water since she still couldn't get out of bed very easily)...
Well, I could hear mom and my bro watching the Healing Revival in Lakeland, Florida. Needless to say, I was drawn by the anointing that was coming out of the TV (Yes, if God can anoint a prayer cloth, olive oil, a human body, a donkey and a dead man's bones, than He can certainly use a TV to transfer the anointing).
So I went out to get Lauren her ice water, took it to her and then went into our living room to watch the Healing Revival with Mom and bro [My mom, Sharon, had to come early in the morning to help with the kids (Moriah, 4; Kathryn and Olivia, 17 months old) and ended up staying until around 11pm or so].
Now when I went to the living room, I was covered in many layers of clothing and had a blanket on. I was sweating, freezing, feverish and miserable, but the anointing was all over me and us (I could feel it all over Tyler). I was crying as I watched the Lord heal, restore, save, fill, stir and quicken His people, His kids. The presence of the Lord was strong in our home, especially in the living room and our master bedroom where Lauren and Moriah were sleeping very soundly. I knew and expected the Lord to move throughout our home to heal, restore, love and baptize our lives in a fresh and full way [We have been watching and will keep on watching the Revival, expecting a full impartation and inundation of the glory of Jesus].
As we were watching, praying, crying, ohhing and ahhing over all that God was doing, Tyler said He felt like He was burning up and freezing. Mom got a blanket and covered him. He then said he thought his hernia was gone. I asked him how he knew. I said that it didn't hurt anymore when he coughed. I told him to cough hard, to do whatever caused it pain before and as he did, he said he felt no more pain and no more bulging. He kept checking himself and felt no hernia. Of course, all we could do was give Jesus glory and praise. We were immediately aware that Jesus was really with us in a strong way.
We then continued to watch the Revival, until I had a sense that what Tyler was feeling in his body, the burning and the freezing, were really words of knowledge for me. So I told Tyler that I felt his physical feelings were words of knowledge from the Lord. I told him I felt he needed to pray for me. He said he didn't know how to pray for me. I told him that was ok. I told him to just pray from his heart, from his gut.
Well, he got up, walked over to me, took my hands, prayed quietly, spoke a few words and wept over me. Within 5-10 minutes, my temperature was completely normal. I started taking some of my layers off since I was no longer comfortable with all the layers. I still felt a little wierd but I was at least 95% better. But I sat down and kept watching the revival, praising God for all that was taking place on TV and in our living room. I told Tyler, "You don't have to be perfect to be used by God." He was crying soberly in the Presence of Jesus during this whole time. Praise Christ!
After a few minutes, Tyler said he still felt the wierd physical sensations. I then realized that he was feeling these things because Lauren was still sick. I told him he needed to go, with me, to pray for her, even while she was asleep in our bed. When we did so, with our mom, Tyler began to speak life and spirit over and into her; he said she would be completely healed by morning. Lauren never woke up while we prayed but when she woke up in the morning, she was 100% normal (Just goes to show that we don't have to be conscious to receive God's perfect gifts.).
After that, we went back to the living room to continue watching the revival, and, almost immediately, I felt my appetite return. I went to the kitchen and got a bowl of cereal. I took a few bites and felt it was time to go to bed. I knew, within myself that it was time to go to bed (around 10:30) to let God work further on me.
By the time I got up the next morning, I woke up completely healed, fully of energy and life. I felt like I had slept for days, fully revived.
Lauren and I felt awesome all day long and we still feel awesome. Thank you Jesus. Thank you for using your people, your way, in a powerful way. We love you and ask you to infect America and the World with a holy revival, greater than all the revivals, awakenings, outpourings and outbreaks in all of history up till now. Saturate us with Your pure and powerful glory. Invade and violate our lives in every way and if we get in the way, knock us over, cause we want you more than we want our pride, pomp and circumstance. We want to be too desperate for You to be critical, too hungry to find fault, too thirsty to focus on the non-essentials. Help us to keep you in first place, to stay low and lift you high.
Amen!
From: Joel M. Killion Date: Saturday, 5/17/08
Lastnight at MorningStar, Rick Joyner asked all the Christian leaders (i.e pastors) to come up and receive prayer. When I got up there, I closed my eyes and resolved not to open them. I lifted my hands to stomach level with my palms upward, as if I was about to receive a gift, which I was totally expecting. Soon, about 5 or 6 hands were on me and I felt Someone stirring inside me. At first, I was very tense, more from anticipation of the unknown than anything. I somehow knew, within me, that He would have His way better if I just "let go" and relaxed (I've never had a hard time relaxing but this outbreak of the Holy Spirit, here at MorningStar, is unlike anything I've ever experiencing at any other move of God). When I "let go," it felt like Someone was shocking my guts and backbone with pulses of electricity and my body started responding (this has NEVER happened before). The moment I tried to "contain" myself, hold myself or tensed-up in any way, I felt Him subside, and that is not what I wanted. So I decided I didn't come four hours to disqualify myself from an encounter.
So I LET GO!
And the currents of power came back and intensified. There were some who touched me who fed the currents more and some who fed them less, but in all, the 7 to 8 hands, at this time, were compounding the currents all over my torso, backbone, legs and neck. As I saw the internal visions, some who were praying for me, saw them with me and told me what I was seeing, as I was seeing them. Some were telling me things no one else knew; things I had been telling and asking God and no one else. I then started feeling like I was being lifted, physically, off the floor - light as a feather. I had LET GO and now I was about to levitate. I felt literal angels around my head, swirling and pulsating with the same currents that were in me.
Stuff was coming off of me - pain, sorrow, grief, depression, anxiety, sadness and disappointment. Stuff was being cleaned in of me - bloody wounds, sheep bites and so much more that I have no idea about. Demonic tormentors who've been sent to me by Satan, in years past, that I've unknowingly allowed to stick around, left me. The Master Counselor opened me up and did more than 1000 years of therapy would have ever done. But I had to LET GO for Him to do this. I had dozens of chances to stifle His work but I chose to make a violent break with self-preservation and fear of the unknown. We want to "be in control" but He wants us to LET GO, lean on Him, trust Him and let Him have the reins of our hearts and minds.
After being electrocuted for over what felt was an hour, I was overloaded and later I found myself on the floor, feeling surges of power rolling through me (Trust me, I never fall down for anyone cause I want the REAL THING. No "courtesy falls" here. I tried to stay standing but apparently, this was beyond me. ).
After laying on the floor for a few minutes, I got up and looked for Lauren, my beautiful wife. She was about 30 ft away. (I was still feeling the juice going through me.) She looked over at me through the crowd and I motioned for her to come to me, in the center of the floor, in front of the main stage, where it's been said there's a Pool of Bethesda of healing. She came over with Moriah, our eldest daughter, and after a while some people started praying for us. I started getting juiced even more, all over again. I looked over at Lauren. She was praying with her hands up, in a receiving position.
As the Lord continued to stir and quicken Himself in me, I started thinking, "Lauren's never seen me like this. Heck, I've never experienced this myself, ever. I'M baffled. I wonder what she thinks of me. She knows all my faults and warts and pimples and she must think I'm faking this or being hypocritical." Of course, this was just my fallen mind feeding me lies in order to stifle and vex what was happening. It's funny how our mind runs with silliness and how we oftentimes follow its lead.
But I DECIDED not to feed those thoughts (even though it hass NEVER EVER been in Lauren's nature to think things like this, but that's not the point – the point is: Where is our focus? Why do we care what people think? Should their feelings really matter if we are truly desperate for Jesus? And can we really say we want God when we also care what others think? At some point, we need to look up and stop looking down cause we can't do both at the same time.).
As I felt the Lord feeding the currents of power, as I increasingly LET GO, I put both my hands on Lauren's head, out of sheer need to give "it" away - I felt like I was going to explode. (She was holding Moriah at this time.)
All of a sudden, my legs became so electrified that they began to vibrate under me. Suddenly, everything went black. I later found myself on the floor, writhing, groaning, screaming, weeping rivers and moaning uncontrollably under what I can only describe as a disemboweling of some sort. I felt like my guts and every organ were being ripped out and flashes of memories swept through my mind so fast that I don't even know what they were.
Of course, I still had the choice to shut the whole thing down and go into hiding in myself, but I said, within myself, that I will refuse to be the same. I kept saying, within myself (I found that audible words could abate and vex the experience), "Change me, change me, change me. Don't stop and don't let me stop You until You're done. I will awaken in Your likeness. MORE, MORE, MORE."
Tyler (my brother) and Lauren, along with Moriah, kneeled on both sides of me, as I writhed and contorted on the floor between them. They prayed, while others came around (I heard them, between my guttural groans, praying for me). For a times, I thought I was being delivered of actual demons because I felt my body moving like one who's being delivered, but after a short conversation with the Lord, in me, I knew the demons weren't in me as much as they were like leaches being ripped off me by angels. I knew these leeches were placed on me without my knowing it, from years past.
I have no idea how long I was on the floor. I felt strong shocks on power going off in my stomach, lifting much of me off the floor. When Tyler would pray for me, I would surge and maintain the surges for 4-5 seconds at a time. Every chance I took, as I felt the power of God going through me, I laid hands on Lauren, Tyler and, especially, Moriah, because the Presence of God was so strong that I wanted to share it with them.
Of course, the Lord would have allowed me to shut His work down at any time. He never forces Himself on us. All I know is that I want what He wants so bad that I refuse to "be in control," to "hold back," or "hide."
We all want to "be in control." We all have various levels of discomfort with things or people we can't fully understand or explain. But when we "LET GO", our Lover will show us how much He really loves us.
We all have a very difficult time believing good about ourselves or even receiving gifts. We've been so beat up by others and especially ourselves that we've believed the lies over the Truth (The Person, Whose been stiff-armed by us so many times while He's tried to break through our walls and veils to show us His love for us.)
Back to the story - Eventually, I was able to get off the floor, but I needed help (When I got up, I saw a clock, at a distance, and it said 11:11pm which is VERY significant as the Lord has been showing me 11: 11 for over 10 years and He has shared it's meaning with me as a message for me, personally. So when I saw it, I had an epiphany that was just for me.).
Lauren and Tyler took turns helping me walk because I was serious disoriented and drunk, even though I was really trying to hold it together (the more I tried the worse it got). And, believe me, I've never been drunk but I know what drunk looks like and that's what I felt like.
I stayed disoriented for the rest of the night but it slowly wore off. And yet, last night, when I was sleeping, there were times when I felt the Presence of the Lord, STRONG, and the surges came back, at times, to let me know He was still working in me and through me, even while I was sleeping. It felt good to feel His manifest Presence all night long. It's like Daddy was holding me all night long.
He really can take care of us when we let Him though.
We all need help from the Helper but only He can do it. So let's LET GO and give in. Stop hiding and take the leap. Jump in. He loves us so much more than the best parent loves their children. And if we being wicked know how to give good things to our flesh and blood, how much more will He give to His kids when they ask Him for "more of Him"?
I will step out of the boat and if I drown, I drown, if I perish, I perish. But as I step out of every boat I put my trust in, I will set fire to them so they never become an option for retreat or comfort. Eventually, every boat will be at the bottom of the sea with me, walking on the water forever, where He is my Trust, my Comfort, my true Home. I'd rather be walking on the water, with Him, than in the safest boat in the world, without Him.
We've all been hurt but He will never hurt us. We've all been misguided, but He will never trick us or say one thing and do another. He is our Daddy, a million times more loving, thoughtful, giving and comforting than your dad and mom and my dad and mom and every dad and mom on planet earth, combined. But we will never know this for sure until we let Him in and lay ourselves before Him, NAKED AND BARE!